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Unleashing Canine CounterStories Part 6: Cool to Be Kind – Positive Reinforcement, Please!

Unleashing Canine CounterStories Part 6: Cool to Be Kind – Positive Reinforcement, Please!

February 26, 2026 - 7 minute read
Welcome to 'Unleashing Canine CounterStories: Exploring Humane Education with Dr. Lori'. I am your guide for this blog series where we navigate the fascinating world of human/canine relationships. To put it bluntly, it's complicated. But I'm here to help hash it all out! In this series, we'll examine our interactions with our canine companions and discover ways to build stronger, more empathic connections by considering your dog's perspective along with your own. This is known as Canine CounterStories - taking a broader look into how something that has 'always been' may actually have had another angle to look at all along. Today, we will dive deep into the world of positive reinforcement - and why it’s not just kinder, but smarter, than a punitive approach. We will explore communication strategies that help motivate rather than intimidate.  We have all heard the phrase 'positive reinforcement'. A typical example would be 'Do as I ask, receive a yummy treat'. That is receiving something positive as the outcome of what was requested, creating a positive reinforcer. You may be surprised to learn that the opposite of positive reinforcement is not negative reinforcement, but rather 'positive punishment'. That is when an unpleasant consequence is added if you do not do as commanded, if you do not obey. Think: yanking a leash hard to force your dog in one direction while he was pulling the other way (one star, would not recommend). To me, using the correct term of positive punishment shines a spotlight on how this approach is...well...mean. Does anyone really enjoy being punished??  Which brings me back to that age-old question from our first blog in this series, 'Would you rather be feared or loved?' Hint: I always choose Love. Let us begin.... We've all been there at one time or another - 'sit. sit. Sit. Sit. Siiiiit. SIT. SIT! SITTTTT!!!!!' By the time you get to that final scream, you have lost all control and patience. The pup may ignore you altogether, or perhaps in an act of complete defiance (or obliviousness), full-body flop dramatically in the opposite direction. It would be completely adorable… if you weren't so dang ticked about it. After all, 'sit' is the most common of asks, right? It's practically DOG 101.  (Come to think of it, WHY is that something we demand from our doggie friends? We don't insist our cats 'sit'. We don't expect our guinea pigs to 'sit' when we shout it over and over again.  We don’t even require our grandmothers to instantly 'sit' when they come over in order for us to give them some cookies. It's actually quite odd if you really think about it.) So what's the Canine CounterStory?  What if the question isn't 'What is wrong with this dog? Why won't they just sit already???'  but rather, 'Am I motivating properly to set them up for success?'  Because real learning - the stuff you remember over a lifetime - doesn't come from pressure, it comes from support. TARGETED SUPPORT Not everyone learns the same, nor does everyone have the same motivation. If your dog isn't a foodie, try some extra verbal praise. Or take some time to pet them if they prefer that type of attention. Meet your dog where they are. Find what brings THEM the most joy and offer it up as a specific, targeted positive reinforcement as they start to cooperate.  NURTURING AND RESPONSIVE RELATIONSHIP Learning skills will happen quicker with a feeling of safety. Feeling safe to experiment and maybe not get it perfect without the fear of consequences will provide the opportunity for your dog to take baby steps in the right direction. ALWAYS REWARD THE BABY STEPS! Celebrate ANY effort that moves even remotely in the direction of what you are hoping for. After all, your pooch is trying to navigate what you want while speaking another language (HumanSpeak vs. DogSpeak). One way to do this is through 'clicker training'. Each time they get a little closer to the end goal, you click the clicker and give a treat. The 'click' sound acts as a signal of positive communication, a 'yes!' or 'good boy/girl', if you will.   MAKE SURE EXPECTATIONS ARE APPROPRIATE Just because you fell in love with a chihuahua you saw on the internet push 'talk buttons' and seemingly ask for a long walk and a bath, doesn't mean if you buy the same talk buttons that suddenly your dog will be fluent in French and start asking for croissants. If what you are asking doesn't match their ability realistically, re-evaluate the ask. CATCH THEM BEING GOOD AND REWARD We are so conditioned to constantly tell dogs 'no!' about things we don't want, but it doesn't always come easy for us to reward the things we do want. The key is to catch and reward even the simplest of ' good' desired behavior. Pay attention to just how many times you say 'yes!' to your dog compared to how many times you tell them what not to do without real direction on what TO do. A ‘yes’ here is a form of positive communication- a way to mark good choices. REWARDS ARE THE OPPOSITE OF BRIBES A bribe is when you give something transactionally to get an undesired behavior to stop (like a treat given as a distraction to get them to stop barking). But a reward is giving something to teach the cycle of getting rewarded for doing a desired behavior or request (like after they stop barking, even for a moment, that's when you give the click and/or treat). Rewards are positive reinforcement investments. Bribes are short-term negotiation tactics. PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT Your dog may not get it right the first time, the fifth time, or even the fifteenth time. Try to enjoy this learning time together, as it's a journey, not a destination. Skills have to be built and your dog may require short, positive, repeated experiences to get to the finish line.  Once they learn the desired request, think of some other skills or games you can work on together...otherwise your pup may miss that 'together' time if class is no longer in session. KNOW WHEN TO CALL IT FOR THE DAY If you notice your fuse getting short, or your dog's attention span is getting even shorter, this is a clear cut sign they may be done attempting to learn for the day. Behavior is simply communication. And often 'no' means 'this is too much' or 'I don't understand'. Before you continue to push, take a pause. What else is happening?  How is everyone feeling? Is the energy conducive to a positive learning environment? Read the room. If no one is happy to be there, it might be time for recess.  Even better if you figure out how long their threshold typically is and for future sessions try to end on a positive note before getting to that place of overload. Now, here is something that might surprise you. The bolded phrases did not come from researching dog training manuals or animal behavior studies. Each and every one of these positive reinforcement strategies came from websites dedicated to teaching YOUNG CHILDREN. I purposely wanted to utilize Early Childhood Education principles to demonstrate how kindness and humane education are universal. Go back and read the bold parts again - only this time think of toddlers. You will see how easily this wisdom transfers - from kid to kitten to canine and everyone in between. :) We are all teachers. As teachers, we are all communicators. Every communicator has a choice on how to communicate - positively or negatively. Positive communication builds trust. And at the end of the day, no skill matters more than trust. A trusting, nurturing  relationship is what makes growth possible through confidence and connection. For both of you…  After all, seeing your dog follow cues that you patiently worked hard on together not only makes them a good student, but it also makes you an even better teacher.  In other words, you did something positive - and got a positive result. That’s what I call a full-circle positive reinforcement loop. A place where everybody wins. And then we all lived fetchily…ever…after.  
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