Unleashing Canine CounterStories Part 13: Perfect Pup Pressure

Welcome to 'Unleashing Canine CounterStories: Exploring Humane Education with Dr. Lori'. I am your guide as we navigate the fascinating world of human/canine relationships. To put it bluntly, it's complicated. But I'm here to help hash it all out!

In this series, we'll examine our interactions with our canine companions and discover ways to build stronger, more empathic connections by considering your dog's perspective along with your own. This is known as Canine CounterStories - taking a broader look at how something that has 'always been' may actually have had another angle to look at all along.

Today we will dive into unrealistic expectations and how they can contribute to our overall wellbeing and happiness (or lack thereof). The comparison struggle is real! Allow me to introduce a reality check so that everyone can breathe a little easier at the end of each day, knowing the journey itself is where all the 'perfect' magic happens. 

I remember it as if it were yesterday. I had a new pup, and a young child. I don't remember the exact scenario (which almost makes the point for me about not sweating the small stuff). I am not sure what this puppy had done, but it wasn't great. Perhaps he unraveled a roll of toilet paper around my living room. Perhaps he stole a box of crackers and chowed down. Maybe he chewed up lipstick all over the rug. Whatever the crime, it doesn't actually matter in the grand scheme of things. He did something not great, something ‘not perfect’ let’s call it….and I was about to react (i.e. flip out, stress out, spiral out).

At this exact moment, my 7 year old came bounding down the stairs, witness to this indoor hurricane. Without missing a beat, almost as if she just watched this in a Marmaduke cartoon, she looked at him with adoring eyes, smiled ear to ear and said 'You are such a RASCAL!' This was said with pure unadulterated LOVE...and it stopped me in my tracks.

THIS is what perfection actually is....our life with dogs being beautiful and messy at the same time. Why is that any different than when we love babies putting their fists into their first birthday cake? Or their first date with spaghetti sauce that winds up all over their face and hair? Don't our dog babies (and dog adults, and dog seniors) deserve that same grace? Out of the mouths of babes, my daughter taught me the answer is a resounding YES. Yes, they do. 

Take this sentiment into the current day- and we are all still chasing perfection that never quite reaches a finish line. The constant striving for the perfect picture or video for social media content, the perfect doggy greeter when guests arrive, the perfect nanny for our child's playdates, the perfect sidekick during festivals, fireworks, and outdoor cafe lunches, we expect ALOT... and may wind up feeling pressure (and stress) as we chase it.

Many times, we feel that if our dog isn't perfect at all times, it is somehow a reflection of us. Expecting the unattainable from another living being during the continual pursuit of perfection can overwhelm both sides and fracture relationships.  'Take 17, more wag!'

I am here to tell you that type of rigid perfection, it is pure myth. No one can be perfect all the time, nor should they be. To me, that just sounds like a robot. Which isn't reality.

You know what my favorite social media content involving dogs is? Blooper reels! Seeing what goes on behind the scenes of the 'perfect' shot gives an authentic glimpse into what I view as a true perfect day. 

So what is the Canine CounterStory here? Instead of viewing these everyday challenges as egregious disasters, let's shift our lens. 

What kind of antics do our pups get into? In short, mischief, not malice.

Synonyms for rascal-  imp, scamp, shenanigans

Synonyms for perfect- excellence, flawless, impeccable

Which description seems more realistic? Which seems a more accurate description of a dog just trying to navigate our human world? 

*Additional self-reflection: Does perfection sound like real life with literally anyone? This includes ourselves. Life is not about being perfect. We are not perfect, they are not perfect. It is truly okay to remove conditional expectations of ourselves and others. We are all just out here navigating this thing called Life. All together now: 'You're ok, I'm ok, we are all ok!'

As a call to action, I encourage you to celebrate the real. Warts and all. It's kind of freeing. Sort of like a makeup-free/filter-free selfie.  You got this! 

PS: I miss that rascal dog terribly, and would give anything for one more moment of chaotic energy with him again. Here's to the rascals!