Unleashing Canine CounterStories Part 12: Choice, Glorious Choice!

Welcome to 'Unleashing Canine CounterStories: Exploring Humane Education with Dr. Lori'. I am your guide as we navigate the fascinating world of human/canine relationships. To put it bluntly, it's complicated. But I'm here to help hash it all out!

In this series, we'll examine our interactions with our canine companions and discover ways to build stronger, more empathic connections by considering your dog's perspective along with your own. This is known as Canine CounterStories - taking a broader look into how something that has 'always been' may have actually had another angle to look at all along.

Today we will take a look at choices within the structure of your daily routine. I am sure you have something you do from the moment you rise. i.e.  Wake up, coffee, dog out, breakfast, etc... whatever it is, each part is a choice. A choice you are making, a series of little choices made over and over...by you.

This leaves very little room for the dogs in our lives to experience the empowering freedom that choice brings. Sure, they can protest a certain food until you offer another one, but the day to day choices dogs are offered are typically quite limited.

Our doggie friends are just trying to navigate life with us, as best they can, without speaking the same language. Due to this, they really are not able to fully discuss their thoughts and feelings on anything. Nor can they express their preferences unless they are given some different scenarios in which they can CHOOSE. Choosing 'this' over 'that' can tell you indirectly which selection your dog prefers. Think of it as a decoder to assist in human/doggo dialogue. 

When one is constantly directed on what to do, with very little choice in the matter, it can lead to a depressed state, including learned helplessness. Often, with dogs this can be mistaken for 'good behavior'. No need to change anything because Rover is so quiet in the corner all the time. He's perfectly fine, look how quiet he is!  But is he? Or is he listless, lethargic, and feeling a bit meh, almost like in a slump? What's the Canine CounterStory here? Sometimes you can get a little pep in your step with some simple acts of Choice, offering the ability to have some control over your environment, also known as Agency. Agency and Choice are key components in meeting the mental and emotional health needs of all species. Yep, even dogs. 

When someone is offered a say in things, it subtly communicates that what they feel and think matters. All living beings thrive best when feeling seen, heard, and connected.

There are so many things we humans just automatically do, automatically choosing for others around us. They are overall pretty insignificant and mundane things, but for the other being who would get to make a choice rather than just follow protocol, it could be a really invigorating experience!

So what types of benign activities can we loosen the reins on and include the dog in the decisions? What can help fire off some of those agency/choice pupper neurons?

Freedom to choose space:  At bare minimum, let's offer two rooms. that way your dog can choose which room they would like to be in. When you find the clear winner, place their bed in that space. Although noting the room preference is fluid and flexible and can change at any time, and change back again too. That's the power of continual choices!

Freedom to choose direction:  On a walk, when met with a fork (or corner) in the road, simply ask 'which way?' and let your dog pick the path! So simple, you really do not need to fully dictate that every step (and sniff) of the way.

Freedom to choose snacks: This is an easy one; offer two snacks at the same time. Maybe one in each hand, or each under a plastic cup. Now, perhaps your dog will choose 'both!' and that's ok too, still considered a choice! 

Freedom to choose toys: Offer more than one toy. Present more than one type. (a rope, a plush, a crinkly). Bonus if you provide your pup with their own toy box so they can choose which toy or chew regularly, whether you are present or not.

Freedom to choose friends. Dog park, doggy classes, walks in the neighborhood, sitting at a cafe, etc. Not everybody likes everybody. Let your dog choose who they want to hang out with. I would be straight up miserable if I was forced to constantly be around someone I did not fully gel with. 

Freedom to choose alone time:  Along with choosing space, the mingling aspect may change depending on if your dog chooses to be social (with people, with other dogs and/or cats, with babies, etc) or wants some alone time. I like calling this the 'no thank you' choice. Also known as LMA (leave me alone) 

Freedom to choose consent: This is a big one for me. Let your dog decide if, when, and where they want to be touched, especially by others/strangers. If anyone approaches for a petting and/or hug fest, it is a great opportunity to get dog consent on such a thing right in front of the person asking. It shows you are checking in with the dog on whether they want any of that. ' What do you think? Would you like to cuddle a little with this nice little girl?'  Check your dog's  body language on whether your dog is feeling it before giving an automatic yes. It may seem impolite to decline the invitation, but whether its a yes or a no, what it is, is a CHOICE. I prefer that dogs are not pushed beyond their comfort limits by prioritizing a stranger's comfort level during this exchange.  Be loyal to your furry friend here.

Not all Choice is Created Equal  - Know your dog and know your dog's limits. Let's not give the choice of a kindergarten skillset activity next to ultra-challenging calculus. The goal isn't to push beyond the threshold or cause frustration (i.e. *Not a laser pointer where they can never catch it) Make the choices equal-ish in value and difficulty  so your dog gets to really think about it and authentically decide. 

This might seem awkward at first, especially if you have established the routine and want to just offer a quick offering and keep it movin'. But this will really deepen the experience for your dog who is on the receiving end. Now, this doesn't mean you have to give up all control (I think we sometimes low-key fear this). You can still steer the choices and guide the menu. So only offer 2 or 3 choices that you are ok with. That way you are still managing the environment while also giving your dog some options to have a say in the matter.   

 Think of it like this: would you prefer someone every day said 'Now we will do this, now we are going here' or would you like to once in a while hear 'So what would YOU like to do?"  #RelationshipGoals

That's true partnership. It's not stepping back, it is walking alongside. Inviting our dog's decisions into the daily lived routines together honors their individuality and gives them a voice alongside your own.

I invite you to choose to give your dog some choices, no matter how small.